So today marks my babies 20 week birthday, and it also marks the day that I have decided to begin the process of weaning myself off of pumping. 5 months strong, and I'm to the point where I'm worn out with the process. One good thing is that I've got about 2 or 3 months worth of breast milk stored in my freezer, so I figure they'll get a few more months of BM, which leaves only a few months after that of formula.
I have to admit, though, I've got this underlying sense of guilt for not being a SuperMom and pumping for them till they are at least a year old. I feel like there's so much pressure on moms these days (just like myself) who are shunned or thought less of because they don't breastfeed their babies for 2+ years, or cause they don't cloth diaper and co-sleep, or whatever is en vogue to do as a parent. I'm not saying that these aren't great things, but I personally don't cloth diaper my twins (gasp, I know!) and I don't appreciate feeling like I'm thought of as a bad mother because I choose to do or to not do something. I call this designer parenting. It's like having the latest and greatest handbag. I'm no fashionista, so I shouldn't waste my time or energy worrying about what others think, but there's so much caddiness in the Mommy World that I can't help but wonder what the other moms think when they see my babies drinking from a bottle. Do they judge me? Do they assume that they are exclusively formula fed? Even if they are, who cares?!?! I'm a big believer in that moms, Dads and families should do what's best for them, rather than what's thought of as "in style".
Maybe this is just a silly complex that I have, but I dislike the feelings that I get when I'm around other mothers who do or don't do certain things. We are all doing the best we can as parents to our babies. I'm not sure how you may feel, but I know I'm fearful of all things related to my kids cause I don't want to hurt them, traumatized them, injure them, or scar them for life as it is, and this is one more thing I *don't* need to worry about. If your intentions are good and pure, that should be all that's expected of you. Moms and Dads shouldn't be guilted into to doing anything, or made to feel less of a person for the decisions they make (so long as they are taking the best care they can of their children).
So, here I am, weaning myself off of pumping, using disposable diapers on my babies, driving a giant SUV that doesn't get fabulous gas mileage, oh yeah, AND I started my babies on oatmeal on their 20 week birthday. Judge me all you want, designer moms, but I'm confident in my decisions as a parent and I'm pretty sure my babies will be okay.
Thanks for listening! ;)
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