::Struggling With Sanity

When I went to my OBs office for my postpartum check up, one of the things she told me was that she's never had a mom of multiples who hasn't had to go on anti-depressants. When she told me this, I was a little taken aback by her forwardness, but I knew that her message was to not feel guilty or ashamed if I began to struggle with feeling overwhelmed by my life as a mom of twins. Fast forward to today... Today was a day where I probably would have benefited from some "happy pills". Everyday is a struggle for me to just keep my head above water. I can only do "just enough" to make sure my nose is right at the edge of the water; just to the point where if the water level rises even a smidge, I'll drowned. Thaw how I feel every single day. Sensory overload; exhaustion to the point of insanity. My eyes burn, my head hurts and my back hurts every second of every day.

Bottom line is that I feel so unhealthy as a whole. I need to try and take some time to get away, even for just a few minutes everyday. The problem is, I always need two people around to tend to these two tiny bugs, and with just two family members in the state, that's not always an option. I'd kill for a pedicure right about now.

I started writing this post yesterday evening at 6pm, and I'm just now wrapping it up the next morning at 7:06am... This is my life now... When will it get a little easier???

Signed,

A Worn Out Mommy

::Terrible TWOSday

Tuesday... A day I wish I could have a do-over with!

This particular Tuesday started out productive. I cleaned my bathroom and finally rid it of those annoying pink rings around my sink and toilet (yes, it's been that long) and dusted the dressers that are in my master bedroom. Although it added a lot of character, the inch of dust that sat on the surfaces was really starting to piss me off. Not exactly the decor look I was going for.

I think what I really get most frustrated with is the fact that I can't ever finish anything I start. Laundry, pumping, dishes, washing bottles, vacuuming, dusting, or even taking out the damn trash... Everything I do gets interrupted in one way or another.

Let me back track a little...

Before babies (heck, before pregnancy even) I was a very self-sufficient, independent, and a do-it-myself kind of girl. I didn't need anybody's help and I enjoyed the time that I had to myself. I'm one of those people that actually likes it when it's silent, no one around, no "noise" fogging up my brain, just me and my thoughts. I enjoyed my "alone" time. I suppose everyone enjoys alone time, but for me in particular, those moments were when I did my reflection of the day, week, of myself, etc. They were times when I would "recharge" per say. These days, there's none of the happening around this house. After months of no time to "recharge", I'm running very low on battery life. This mama's tired!

Enough of my venting for one day... I just needed to get it out. Now, it's back to my "sensory overload" life!

Cheers!!! :D