baby noise: 2011

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

::Merry Christmas to You!

From our family to yours, we wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a terrific New Year!

Love to all!!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

In: Family Ties , Life Lessons

If you haven't noticed, I haven't blogged a lot in the last month or so. No real reason as to why I haven't, but mainly because I've been very busy through the holiday season. Between getting my house ready for guests, all the construction that we are trying to finish by next week, and traveling, I've had my hands full.

On top of all the stuff I've been juggling, my family got news on Tuesday morning that my Grandfather had passed away......

I have mixed feelings about his passing. Actually, I kind of feel no feelings about his passing.

I know that makes me sound like a cold-hearted "B", but you'd have to understand a little bit about my extended family, and then I'm sure you'd understand why I can say that about someone who has died in my family. It's complicated. Unfortunately, my Grandfather made many choices in his life that led to him dying alone. This experience has been a piercing lesson for me. I don't want to be like him and die alone. I want to die like my other Grandfather did in 2000. I want to die surrounded my my family, all holding hands and telling me how much they love me. I want to die knowing that I did well by my family and that they know just how much I love them. All of them.

On a selfish note, I was supposed to be having fun at Disneyland right now during my first weekend away since my boys were born.

:(

My husbands Christmas party was last night, so we were supposed to fly to OC together, sans twins, and have a nice weekend away together doing things on our own. All of our plans were shot to hell starting on Tuesday. First it was the news of my Grandfather passing, then Connor came down with his first cold. Neither of those events were thrilling in the least. I ended up having to change my flight to leave tomorrow so that I can leave the boys here with my husband and attend the funeral. We were gone for 2 weeks recently and with the cold that Connor had, I didn't want to drag them through flying again. It's the best thing for them, and since I love them with every.single.inch of my existence, I now put my own selfish desires aside and do what's best for my babies.

Such is life....

:)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

In: Blessings , Family Ties , Feeling Fall , Seasons

::Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing each of you a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday filled with quality family time, amazing memories and delicious food!

We are enjoying being out of town and spending some amazing time with family members... How are you spending your Thanksgiving?

Friday, November 4, 2011

In: Baby Daze , Feeling Fall , Twins

::First Halloween

My boys just celebrated their first Halloween on Monday! While they are too young to go trick-or-treating or even eat candy with their 2 teeth, we still dressed them up in their Halloween costumes. They were Mickey Mouse! And super cute Mickey's at that!

What do you think about these two little studs?

Monday, October 31, 2011

In: Labels Schmables , Life Lessons

::NOH8

This post has been brewing in my mind for several days now. I've got a million words flowing through my brain, and no idea on how to organize any of it so that it makes a bit of sense, so I'm just gonna let it roll out and we'll see what happens....

I'm a republican and a fairly conservative individual. I swear like a sailor and can have a sharp tongue if I get upset, and by no means do I think of myself a saint. I consider myself a religious person and I believe in God. I was raised in a Christian home and now practice Catholicism. My family members are all pretty conservative people as well. I have a few gay extended family members, but no gay friends (that I know of, at least). I'm a no bull shit (please excuse the language... I warned you that I swear like a sailor) kind of girl. I don't tolerate lying or malice behavior with myself or those around me. I'll call people out just as much as I'll call myself out when something seems a little fishy. Some have called me harsh, crass, rude and even a bitch. I call it "telling it like it is".

One thing that I CANNOT stand is when people bully other. There is NO excuse for treating others like less of a human because you don't agree with their lifestyle, their sexuality, their weight or race, how they dress or whatever else people can dissect. Bullying is not okay. It should not be condoned. It is not acceptable behavior for anyone to display, no matter young or old. Do you remember that old saying "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me'? It's a big load of crap. Words hurt. They pierce right through the heart of the undeserving victim. They last forever even though they only take mere seconds to utter.

When I was a junior in high school, I was really struggling with navigating the path of who I was as a girl/woman, a student, what my future was going to be, and dealing with school and personal stresses. I didn't have any friends and I felt very alone in life. I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone about anything else other than maybe the weather. I was sinking within myself and couldn't figure out how to get out of the mess in my head. I couldn't handle the stresses of my chemistry class, so I convinced my parents and my school counselor to let me drop the chem class and fall into a physical science class that I'd be better equipped to handle. There was a guy in my class named Mike. Mike had Napoleon syndrome. He was a short, shrimpy little guy, but thought that he needed to make up for his lack of physical presence by being a smart ass all the time. One day during science class, Mike was being his usual smart ass self. I was annoyed with the snarky little comments he was making to my group and a few others in the class. I said something to him (can't remember exactly what it was) to let him know that he wasn't funny, no one was laughing at his stupid jokes, and that he needed to stop with the stupid childish shit (I'm sure I said "shit" a during the exchange). He then proceeded to say something to me that I will NEVER ever forget. He said to me, "why don't you just go home and put a gun in your mouth you stupid bitch!"...

For a few seconds there I had no words. And I'm not often at a loss for words.

I couldn't even believe what just came out of his mouth, or that any reasonable human being would ever even think to say something like that to someone else. After a few speechless seconds, I stood up in front of him. I'm sure I got his attention because of the fact that I towered over his meek little stature, never mind the fact that I was seeing red. I then said to him something along the lines of that he should never ever say anything like that to anyone because he doesn't know where that person is in life or what they are dealing with. I reminded him that words are hurtful, and how dare he think that it was okay to say something so awful to someone else. I know I scared the piss out of him because all of the sudden, the fear of God was in his eyes.

This happened in 2002. Almost 10 years ago.

This is just one example of how words can hurt people and how they last a lifetime.

Do I think every religion is right and correct? No

Do I think one race is superior over another? No

Do I think people are born gay? No

Do I think fat people should be treated differently than skinny people? No

Do I enjoy when homosexual people flaunt their lifestyle in my face? No

Do I think black people should be treated differently than white people? No

What I do believe is this... ACCEPTANCE

Every single human being deserves to be treated as a human being. I believe that people should be free to choose who or what they believe in, and they shouldn't be persecuted for that. I believe that someone who's gay should be able to enjoy life just like any other straight person. While I don't agree with, condone, or choose certain things for my life, I think we as a human race need to understand the concept of acceptance. While we don't necessarily choose certain things for ourselves personally, we have no right to judge or hurt others for being a certain way or doing things that don't line up with our own personal morals or values.

While I wont be marching in the next gay pride parade, I will continue to rally for this bullying and horrible treatment of people to stop. All this hate needs to end. Kids needs to stop committing suicide because they can't stand another day of hate at school. People need to feel comfortable walking the streets and not having to worry that they will be treated poorly because they are gay. We need to support each other and not cut each other down. We need to become a more peaceful people rather than going though life half-cocked and on the defense for the next opportunity to hate on someone.

I'm steeping off my soap box now... If you made it to the end, I thank you for your time. For those of you who didn't, maybe you're the ones who should have read this more than anyone else. I hope this made some sense. Lets make tomorrow a better day.

::Happy Halloween

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

This was my pumpkin carving creation for the 2011 Halloween year.

Wishing you all a very safe and happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

In: Everyday Living

::Fall Has Arrived!

This aspen tree is right outside of my kitchen window. On Saturday, it was green. On Sunday it was yellow, and on Monday (yesterday) it was this yellow/ brown mix. Reminds me of a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie :)

I love seeing the beauty all around us when the seasons change!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

In: Simply Stated

::Sunday, Simply Stated

I love Sundays... lazy day, football, listening to my boys laugh and talk to each other... It's all about spending good, quality time with the ones you love the most! Be sure to take some time today to tell the special people in your life that you love them.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

In: Blessings , Family Ties , Life Lessons , Simply Stated

::Monkey See, Monkey Do

My baby boys are 8 months old! I just cannot believe how FAST the time has gone by... I still remember the evening I found out I was pregnant, the day we found out we were having twins, seeing their tiny flickering hearts on the ultrasound, learning that they were boys, the day they were born, and all the amazing firsts that have happened over the last 8 months. While I wished that this would come, I want to keep my precious little guys babies forever.

This evening, my husband was choking on a drink and was coughing from it... my little monkeys both started to fake cough to be like their daddy! Monkey See, Monkey Do! We just adore our precious gifts and soak up everyday with them as they grow and develop.

Thank you, God, for our little miracles!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

In: Baby Daze , Everyday Living , Foodie Fun

::On The Road Again....

My last post was about how I make all of my boys' baby food, but the reality of it is that we aren't home for every.single.meal they eat. Since it's kind of impractical to try and take ice cube baby food on the road or out and about without it melting all over the place, I feed my boys only certified organic baby foods when we are on the go. The 3 brands that I love and trust are:

Ella's Kitchen (www.ellaskitchen.com)

Plum Organics (www.plumorganics.com)

Sprout Organic (www.sproutbabyfood.com)

I did a lot of looking around and researching other baby foods before I settled on these brands. I love these for a lot of the same reasons that I love making my own baby foods. No fillers, super nutritious, no funky stuff that I can't pronounce and it's in perfect portion sizes.

Ella's Kitchen and Plum Organics average about $1.79 per pouch and can be found at Target, Babies r Us and some grocery stores. Sprout Organic is $0.98 per pouch and I have only been able to find it at Walmart. While the price per ounce is much more expensive than making my own food, I'm more than willing to pay for the quality of the food and the convenience of being able to throw it in my JuJuBe Diaper Bag (www.ju-ju-be.com) use it whenever it's needed.

We are going to be gone for 4 days in the next couple of weeks and I will be taking a variety of these three brands of food to feed my kiddos while we are away. I always try to meal plan for them to ensure than I have both fruits and vegetables at each meal for them. I'm debating on whether or not I will take my Magic Bullet with me anyway to make some fresh food while we are there, but regardless, I'll be prepared with these organic options.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

In: Baby Daze , Everyday Living , Foodie Fun

::Baby Food Palooza

I have always made my boys' baby food since they began experimenting with solids around 6 months. I say "experimenting" because it's more like trying to hit a moving target rather than the act of eating. Long before the time came where they were able to try out solids, I began researching and looking up the benefits of making my own baby food for my kids, and I have to say, I never found anything that ever indicated anything negative about it. I'd always seen how beneficial it was to make it on my own for a few reasons...

The fresh factor just can't be beat.

I know exactly what my kids are eating.

The food is pure fruit and vegetable goodness (no fillers added), so it's higher in nutritional content.

It's far less expensive.

Being a mom of twins and having to buy double of just about everything, I'm always looking for ways to cut costs and save money. A baby is expensive, so just imagine what my expenses for diapers, wipes and supplemental formula are for two babies. Not to mention the daily necessities of clothes, laundry soap (holy cow!), baby wash, lotion, toys, high chairs, etc... The list never ends!

Anyway, after some trial and error, I realized that the Magic Bullet is truly magical when it comes to making my own baby food! It's so much easier than trying to use a hand mixer or regular blender, and I've found that I waste a lot less because the blade on the Magic Bullet is removable which leaves all your blended up food in the container rather than stuck in and around the blade. I've heard that there's now a Baby Magic Bullet, but I can testify that the regular Magic Bullet works wonders.

I've made butternut squash, sweet potatoes, broccoli, green beans, peas, carrots, zucchini squash, pears, peaches, mangoes, strawberries, blueberries, bananas, avocado, etc. For the vegetables, steaming them is really the best option. I tried baking carrots and they ended up burned and dried out. You do, however have to bake the butternut squash. A great resource is wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com to get an idea of what foods to feed your baby and when, and also how to prepare them.

Basically, I steam everything (except the fruit) and add a tad bit of water, just enough to get it to blend together and then I freeze it all in silicone 1 ounce ice cube trays (http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?SKU=17293001) that I bought from Bed Bath and Beyond.

It's one of the best things I can do for my babies, and even though it takes more time than buying the jars from the grocery store, it's definitely worth it!

Feel free to post questions about baby food making, and I'll be happy to answer them :)

Monday, October 10, 2011

In: Baking Bonanza , Blessings , Everyday Living , Family Ties

::Life Is Beautiful

Fall has officially arrived in Colorado! Saturday was the first snowfall of the season, and it was beautiful! I woke up to snow packed on the windows, the lawns were covered in blankets of white, and big snowflakes were flurrying around outside. It came down all day.

My mom, dad and sister spent the day with us. We were cooking, laughing, playing with my boys, and watching sports all day long. We made chocolate raspberry cookies, homemade potato soup, french bread and a delicious citrus salad with raspberry vinaigrette. There was nothing in particular that was planned for the day, but it was perfect the way it was with all of us enjoying each others company. Days like that make me wish that all of my family members lived in the same area so we could all be together. I was specifically missing my sister "J" and her husband on this day. Things had always been rough between us, but over the past year or so, we have started down the path of healing together and because of this newly discovered chapter in our lives, I wish she lived closer to my family and I. So, "J", if you're reading this, wanna sell your house and move to Colorado?!" We can hang out all the time!!! :)

Sunday was much the same as Saturday, except it was football day. During NFL season, Sundays are dedicated to fantasy leagues, good food and friends. They are our family's lazy day, and we love it! I made Thai Pineapple Curry Chicken with jasmine rice and a homemade apple pie... YUM! These two dishes were my first try at them, and while they weren't perfect, they were delicious! Because I spend the majority of my days by myself or with just my mom and my boys, I especially enjoy the weekends when my home is full of people, love and laughter (and delicious smelling foods!)

How do you enjoy spending your weekends during the fall or winter seasons?

Monday, October 3, 2011

In: Everyday Living

::Construction Woes

We decided that we wanted to add another bedroom to the upstairs of our house, and while we are at it, why not just finish the basement. Currently, all the framing is up and we are super excited to get it finished and have even more living space in our basement. Unfinished, it is 1500 sq ft of storage, but when it's completed, we'll have 2 more bedrooms downstairs, another full bathroom and tons more living space. It will be awesome when we have parties or for when we want to watch movies in our own little theater.

One thing that totally sucks when you have a major construction project happening in your home is the dust. I hate dust. And to compound our dusty woes, our community is building a whole new group of homes behind the houses across the street from ours, so there's tractors, dirt and tons more dust! I can't get away from it! To try and combat this issue, I have our cool mist humidifiers running around the clock to try and keep the sir nice and moist. I'm not so much worried about myself, but I don't want my boys to end up with sinus infections or colds from the nastiness that's flying around in the air that we are all breathing.

I suppose it just comes with the territory.... oh well!

Here are a few pics of the "during contruction" phase. When it's all done, I'll take and post more pics!

Here's our new upstairs bedroom

Here's one half of our basement

And here's the other half of our basement

::Stuffed Burgers with Avocado & Sauteed Mushrooms

Yesterday, I was in the mood to be a little fancy with lunch for "C" and I. We decided that we were in the mood for a yummy burger, so I played around with that idea and made "stuffed burgers". Here's what I did...

Ingredients:

1 package of ground beef (I use 96/4 so there's less fat)
1/4 of a green bell pepper, finely diced
1/4 of a small sweet white ontion, finely diced
Garlic salt to taste
Maggi seasoning to taste (or any kind of burger seasoning you prefer)
Provolone cheese
1 avocado, sliced
6 button mushrooms, washed and thinly sliced
2 teaspoons of butter
3 tablespoons of oyster sauce
3 tablespoons of BBQ sauce
Burger buns

Directions:

Put the package of ground beef in a mixing bowl
Mix in finely diced green bell pepper and sweet onion
Add garlic salt and seasoning
Squish all together to everything is mixed together
Divide mixture into 4 round patties
Use a small pan and melt together butter, BBQ sauce and oyster sauce. Add mushrooms and let simmer.
Grill to your liking, flip and add cheese
Remove burger patty from grill and place on bun. Add avocado & sauteed mushrooms and complete with the top of the bun.

This was SOOOO good! I also added a small side of Sicilian italiano pasta salad. YUM!

Friday, September 30, 2011

In: Decisions , Simply Stated

::I Laughed, I Cried & Now It's Over

So that's it... I'm officially a non-facebooker!

I deleted my account, all of my info and all of my pictures.

It's over...and I feel so liberated!

:: Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Rounds

I made this heavenly goodness today from a recipe that a good friend of mine sent me. These Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal cookies can be modified to your liking with the "toppings". The recipe calls for chocolate chips and walnuts, but you can substitute with peanut butter morsels and peanuts, or whatever else you think may sound good.

Here's the recipe...

Ingredients:

3/4 cup Butter, room temperature
2/3 cup Peanut Butter (I used Natural)
1 cup Sugar
1/2 cup packed Brown Sugar
1 teaspoon Baking Powder
1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
2 Eggs
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1 + 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups Rolled Oats
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips*
2/3 cup chopped walnuts*

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

2. Beat together butter and peanut butter until well combined. Add sugars, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon. Beat until combined.

3. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Beat in flour. Stir in oats, cranberries and nuts.

4. Drop by rounded teaspoons onto un-greased baking sheet. Bake 10 minutes or until light brown around edges.

5. Remove to wire racks to cool.

*Can substitute cocktail peanuts, chocolate chips, peanut butter morsels, raisins, M&M's or another type of nut.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

In: Baking Bonanza , Foodie Fun

::Best You've Ever Had Chocolate Chip Cookies

It's no secret that I'm a huge fan of anything sweet, especially things that contain chocolate. Living at a high altitude, cooking & baking poses a bit of a challenge because sometimes things just don't come out correctly. After several failed attempts to make regular ole' chocolate chip cookies, a good friend of mine gave me this recipe to try and combat the flat cookie syndrome as a result of the elevation. I renamed them "Best You've Ever Had Chocolate Chip Cookies" because they're just that; the best I've ever had! This recipe also works great for sea-level elevations and all those in between. Next time you've got a hankering for some delectable chocolate chip cookies, give this one a try! It won't disappoint!

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
2 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 (3.5 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix
2 eggs
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
In a medium sized mixing bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt and set aside
In another large mixing bowl, combine butter, white sugar, brown sugar, vanilla,and pudding mix. Beat until it's smooth and creamy. Beat in eggs. Gradually stir in flour mixture. Stir in chocolate chips.
Drop batter by heaping teaspoonful, about 2 inches apart, onto an ungreased cookie sheet.
Bake for 7-9 minutes, or until they are lightly brown on the edges.
Remove from oven and place on cooling rack.

NOTE: It will likely get dry and think towards the end, which is perfectly fine. They really do end up being moist cookies regardless because of the pudding mix. If you feel like it is too much so, or you have trouble mixing it, add a little milk just to soften it up a bit. They will probably not turn brown when they are done, so be sure to look for the lightly brown edges when it's time to take them out. You want to make sure they remain moist! It's a good idea to sometimes refrigerate some of the dough before you make it, but not at all necessary. It just serves to make a more structured cookie.

Since I love to modify recipes, here are some things I do to spice things up a little...

For more chocolately cookies, add an extra handful of chocolate chips
If you like chopped walnuts, add 1/2 - 3/4 cup of walnuts
Substitute the chocolate chips for peanut butter morsels... yum!

ENJOY!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

In: Baby Daze , Blessings , Family Ties , Life Lessons , Twins

::A Topic On My Heart

One thing that I have had on my heart a lot lately is a topic that isn't widely discussed. Unfortunately, for the sake of those who are or have traveled this path, it isn't something that comes up in casual conversation. It is something that I lived in fear of for the entire duration of my pregnancy. This "thing" is called loss...

June 15th, 2010 was the day I fell in love with my babies for the first time. I'm talking the deepest of deep love you can feel. Moms, you know what I'm talking about. This love was instantaneous and gripping from the very second I saw the word "pregnant" on those little digital pee sticks. This love consumed every square inch of my body, my heart and my soul. On June 20, 2010, the day I found out I was pregnant with twins, was the day I felt true fear for the first time. Not because I was pregnant with twins (lol), but because of automatic super high risk of my pregnancy and because of the very real possibility of losing one or both of our babies. After struggling for almost a year and a half to even get pregnant and dealing with the "loss" that I felt every month, I couldn't imagine the pain that I would endure if I had to face the sobering reality of losing my baby or babies. I remember any time I even thought about it, my already puffy eyes became swollen with big tears because I couldn't even bear thinking about it. Very morbid, I know, but also very real.

Fortunately, as you know, I was blessed with the ability to carry my boys to 35 weeks 5 days and deliver them via emergency c-section a little more than a month before they were due. By the grace of God, they only spent 3 days in the NICU and are now in great health and thriving. I am aware that this is the result of many prayers and the works of God through out the duration of my pregnancy. Every day, I look at my little guys and thank God for their tiny souls and how fulfilled my life is with them in it.

Some of you know that when I was about 27 weeks pregnant, I was shopping at Costco with my Mom and sister the day before my baby shower and I slipped and fell on their concrete floors. I hit the left side of my belly on one of their food court benches. Aside from losing my pregnancy all together, one of my biggest fears was falling. You can only imagine what was going through my head as I sat there on that cold concrete floor waiting for the paramedics to arrive. I was taken to the hospital and monitored for several hours to make sure my babies were safe and sound. Although this shook my to my inner most core, I knew it was a reminder of just how precious life is, and how lucky I am to have the privilege to incubate two lives at the same time, all while this miracle was happening inside of me.

I know that I am blessed to have two beautiful, healthy and lively baby boys. I also know that there are others around me who have had to travel a much more challenging path. I know in my future, the outcome may not be as planned, but one thing I rest my hope on is the fact the God is great and God is good. God is faithful and God hears my prayers. He knows my heart and he knows my path before I walk. I will continue to put my faith in God regardless of the challenges that lay ahead of me because they are what shape who I am.

For now, I continue to thank the Lord that my cup runneth over...

Have you dealt with loss??

How were you able to grieve and move through it??

Sunday, September 25, 2011

In: Simply Stated

::Sunday, Simply Stated

*relieved

*thankful

*blessed

*tired

*busy

*sore

*broken

*saved

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

In: Decisions , Life Lessons , Simply Stated

::Later Facebook...I'm over you!

I have officially decided to leave the Facebook world. I have tossed around the idea before, but with all the new changes and weird privacy (or lack thereof) settings, I'm not too crazy about the idea of other creepers having access to my personal info, pictures, friends, etc. I have nothing against anyone who still chooses to be a part of FB, but it's just not for me anymore.

I remember when I was watching the movie "The Social Network", one of the things that the character Mark Zuckerburg said in reference to the format of Facebook was that he wanted the simplicity of it to be what draws people to their site. Simplicity, it is not, especially now. I feel like as soon as I get used to a new layout or format, they change things up again. Super annoying, so I'm just over the whole thing.

All good things must come to an end, right? Facebook reconnected me with a lot of old friends and co-workers, and has kept me in touch with many for the last few years. For now, though, I'm just going to stick to my family website and my personal blog to keep in touch with people. I figure that I already have too many complicated things in my life, so it's about time I did some house keeping, ya know?

For all of you who occasionally check in with my posts, please "follow" my blog so we can be sure not to lose touch.You can also follow me on Twitter (I'm more of a stalker than a tweeter, but it's still fun to be in the loop) at @katiefermin.

How do you feel about Facebook and other "social networking" sites?

Do you use them, and if so, which ones?

Do you every feel like your life is on display?

Sunday, September 18, 2011

In: Life Lessons

::Goodbyes Are Never Easy!

In the past week, I've had to say goodbyes to a handful of some pretty special people in my life. Some are "goodbye for now", while others are just a simple "see ya later". Some are more uncertain which never leaves a good feeling behind. Goodbyes, no matter the circumstances, are never fun or easy. They always leave some sort if void, as if what was meant to be hasn't actually happened yet. It's like a good movie that has a crappy ending. It just totally sucks.

My boys and I ventured to SoCal (again) to attend my older sisters surprise 30th birthday party last weekend. The party was super awesome and "J" was totally surprised! She even told me that my kiddos and I were her favorite part of her birthday... How sweet is that?! Although we've had a rough go in the past, it always gets me really shaky when I am a part of things like that. I realize that much of what happens(ed) is and was completely out of my control, but that doesn't change the fact that I still wanted everything to be perfect for her on her special day. We had a fabulous weekend celebrating with good friends and family, and then the weekend was over and we had to say our goodbyes to everyone. Fortunately, many of my extended family members were able to meet my babies, so it made it a tad bit easier to deal with the send off because it was such a great weekend.

During this weekend in SoCal, my parents, younger sister and I took a little trip to visit my ailing grandfather in his assisted living home so he could finally have the chance to meet two of his great grandsons. Any time I see any of my extended family, I try to prepare myself for all possible scenarios and remind myself to not have any expectations of how I think our "visits" should go. When I set the bar high I'm always disappointed, so in order to keep the mood lighter, I decided to take everything during our visit with a grain of salt. Obviously, you've probably picked up on the fact that I have a different kind of relationship with my extended family, including my grandparents. I like to give the analogy that I don't have "cookie baking grandparents". Regardless, they are still my family, and I wanted to make an effort to see them for the sake of my babies. Needless to say, the visit was short and sweet, and ended up being much more pleasant that I had anticipated. See what I mean about having no expectations?! It paid off this time... no guarantees for next time ;)

Another goodbye that we had to deal with a few days ago was with a great friend of ours. This was one of those uncertain ones. Not sure if they are gonna come back, and there's always that chance that you may not see them again. Nonetheless, we sent him off with lots of hugs and love.

Goodbyes are not easy, and they definitely aren't fun. Unfortunately, they are a necessary part of life. As the seasons of life bring us into new chapters with new "weather", we can only hope that with these new seasons come new friends and people who are close to our hearts.

How do you deal with saying goodbye to someone you love or care about?

Monday, September 5, 2011

In: Life Lessons

::The Meaning of Labor Day

There are many days throughout the year that we as American's celebrate. Some of these days we are just in it for the BBQ and a beautiful, sunny day off work. One question I ask myself now that I'm an "adult" is whether or now I actually know or understand the meaning behind these days that we celebrate. I'm embarrassed to say that many times, I am ignorant to the true meaning of these holidays. This year for Labor Day, I did a little research on the meaning of Labor Day...

Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.

This simple explanation resounded within my heart because of the endless list of things that I as an American take for granted every single day. I have many freedoms and liberties that so many people around the world do not have because of the pioneering efforts of the many men and women that came and went before me. Let us remember on these beautiful, sunny holidays what we are actually celebrating.

God Bless You & God Bless America!

How does your family celebrate Labor Day?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

In: Simply Stated

::Sunday, Simply Stated

Here's my Sunday, simply stated...

::Blessed

::Loved

::Busy

::Frantic

::Patient

::Tired

::Excited

::Anxious

::Giddy

::Fortunate

Friday, September 2, 2011

In: Family Ties , Life Lessons

::Feeling Conflicted...

Since C & I moved from California to Colorado about a year and a half ago, we are usually not able to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, special events, etc with our family members. This was definitely something we took into consideration when we discussed the pros and cons of moving to a different state, however we ultimately decided that it was in our best interest (financially and otherwise) to begin our lives as a newly married couple in a state other than California. At first, it was a little lonely when the weekends would roll around and we would be alone in our big house all by ourselves and being unfamiliar with our new surroundings. About 7 months after we moves, my parents and younger sister followed us out here, which was amazing timing as I found out I was pregnant 5 days after they moved into their new house... obviously God has his hand in that! Even though we are super grateful to have my parents and sister close to us, we still miss our other family members that still live in CA and NV. It's especially difficult when birthdays roll around, or holidays and such and we can't all be together for one reason or another.

Two upcoming events raise have brought these conflicted feelings in my heart... the first one being about my older sister J who will be turning 30 in about a week, and the second is our niece/goddaughter E's 3rd birthday in December. It really sucks that we aren't around for these special moments in time. Things like this used to not bother me as much when I was younger, but now that I'm getting older and married with my own kids, quality family time is extra important to me. I wish I had an endless amount of money to travel whenever and where ever I wanted to, and I wish it was a lot easier to travel with my two kiddos. Such is life, I guess. It is just a big bummer that my boys don't have as much time with our family members as I'd like. One things that I try to make a big effort at is to make every moment count when we are together with our loved ones.

A wise man once said, "I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich." These words hold very true in my heart. Give you babies, spouse and/or parents & siblings an extra hug next time you see them just because. Your cup will runneth over!

Do you live far away from any of your friends &/or family?

How are you able to stay involved with them?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

In: Twins

::"Are They Twins?"

I'm always blown away when people come up to me and ask, "Are they twins?" (crickets.....) I just wanna say, "Nope. I just had two babies days apart."

Stupid questions people ask....

I suppose I'd be a little more understanding if people would ask if they are identical or fraternal, if they were boys or girls (cause sometimes it's hard to tell when they're little baldies), but really people?? Are they twins?? Come on now... Just had to throw that out there ;)

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

In: Life Lessons

::Dealing With the Past & Moving Forward

As an individual, I am an interesting mix of characteristics. I'm part "people pleaser" & part "who gives a $h!t". I'm a little bit of "lets sweep it under the rug" & "let's scrap right now". Sometimes I'm super confrontational and other times I'm quick to forgive and forget. One thing that has remained constant through many years of me trying to carve my path in life is that I'm a realist to the core. I try to dream, but I'm often brought back down to earth by the reality of the world around me. Do I want everything and everyone around me to be happy, healthy, loving and totally wonderful? Hell yes. Do I think that's a realistic expectation? Hell no. I'd love to be one of those people who has tons of amazing relationships with tons of people in life, but the truth of the matter is that things happen and situations or events come between people...

Up until recently, I had a very heavy heart regarding some serious tension with a person close to me. After almost two years, the situation finally came to head where this person (I'm gonna call this person "X" for carpel tunnel sake) and I had the opportunity to hash out all of the issues and sore spots between us. After several months of lack of communication and not being on speaking terms, we both realized that we thought the problem lie with the other person when it really was within ourselves. The truth of the matter is that if either one of us were to have grown some balls and picked up the phone to fix the problem almost two years prior, we would have saved ourselves several awkward meetings and conversations. Needless to say, we promised to not let things go so long in the future. After a very long and emotional hour on the phone complete with yelling, tears, apologies and affirmations, "X" and I patched up some old wounds and mutually agreed that it was time to take a step forward and begin building our relationship again. I must admit that just as soon as the call ended, I felt this overwhelming sense of relief and freedom from the nastiness that had been brewing between us for so long.

Although this experience (like most good ones are) was very painful, I learned that it's far less painful to deal with not-so-glam things sooner rather than later for so many reasons. One thing that kills me is that I will never be able to get the time lost between "X" and I back. Who knows what amazing things could have taken place during those months, but because I/we were closed off to the possibilities, I/we probably missed out on some pretty awesome stuff. A huge life lesson that I have learned since having my boys is that many things aren't worth getting upset over, and the things that are worth it end up being far less difficult that I had ever anticipated. I still have "noise" that I need to resolve with a few other important people in my life, however I am making an effort to enjoy every day that I am blessed to spend with the people around, who love and cherish me for all the brokenness that is me.

Monday, August 29, 2011

In: Baby Daze

::Manic Monday (To Say The Least)

HOLY.CRAP!

These two words describe a lot of what the last few weeks have been for DH and I. We have officially crossed into the realm of "parents with two teething babies" and we are not fans of this phase at all. I realize that I have been absent in the last 4-6 weeks, however I feel like I have good reason (not that I need to justify myself). I've been juggling trips, a baptism, friends & family visiting and the daily grind that is my life.

My poor kids are starting to look like Edward Sissorhands with all the little nicks and cuts on their precious little faces because their finger nails are so long and I haven't been able to catch the opportunity to cut them. Just today, my mom had to help me fold about 6 loads worth of clean laundry that has been sitting on my couch for the last "x" amount of days. Unfortunately for my husband & I, one of our 4 cats enjoys burying herself in the middle of our warm, snugly, clean clothes, so not only are they fresh and clean, they also have a light coat of black cat hair on them... nice accessory! With more of my mom's help, my downstairs carpet finally got a little attention from my vacuum (which incidentally has a layer of dust all it own in the closet). I recognized that my carpet was becoming a problem when my boys, who are now rolling in every direction and rarely do they roll in the same direction, rolled off of their blanket and then smiled at me with a mouth full of cat hair. YUCK!

I've had good days and bad days since the last time I posted here... I've had many days where I've felt like I needed a Xanax and a shot of Jaegermeister, or maybe just an hour on a therapists couch would suffice. Being a parent is a tough job. It's by far the hardest thing I have ever set out to do in my lifetime...

Sunday, July 3, 2011

In: Labels Schmables

::Designer Mommy, I am not

So today marks my babies 20 week birthday, and it also marks the day that I have decided to begin the process of weaning myself off of pumping. 5 months strong, and I'm to the point where I'm worn out with the process. One good thing is that I've got about 2 or 3 months worth of breast milk stored in my freezer, so I figure they'll get a few more months of BM, which leaves only a few months after that of formula.

I have to admit, though, I've got this underlying sense of guilt for not being a SuperMom and pumping for them till they are at least a year old. I feel like there's so much pressure on moms these days (just like myself) who are shunned or thought less of because they don't breastfeed their babies for 2+ years, or cause they don't cloth diaper and co-sleep, or whatever is en vogue to do as a parent. I'm not saying that these aren't great things, but I personally don't cloth diaper my twins (gasp, I know!) and I don't appreciate feeling like I'm thought of as a bad mother because I choose to do or to not do something. I call this designer parenting. It's like having the latest and greatest handbag. I'm no fashionista, so I shouldn't waste my time or energy worrying about what others think, but there's so much caddiness in the Mommy World that I can't help but wonder what the other moms think when they see my babies drinking from a bottle. Do they judge me? Do they assume that they are exclusively formula fed? Even if they are, who cares?!?! I'm a big believer in that moms, Dads and families should do what's best for them, rather than what's thought of as "in style".

Maybe this is just a silly complex that I have, but I dislike the feelings that I get when I'm around other mothers who do or don't do certain things. We are all doing the best we can as parents to our babies. I'm not sure how you may feel, but I know I'm fearful of all things related to my kids cause I don't want to hurt them, traumatized them, injure them, or scar them for life as it is, and this is one more thing I *don't* need to worry about. If your intentions are good and pure, that should be all that's expected of you. Moms and Dads shouldn't be guilted into to doing anything, or made to feel less of a person for the decisions they make (so long as they are taking the best care they can of their children).

So, here I am, weaning myself off of pumping, using disposable diapers on my babies, driving a giant SUV that doesn't get fabulous gas mileage, oh yeah, AND I started my babies on oatmeal on their 20 week birthday. Judge me all you want, designer moms, but I'm confident in my decisions as a parent and I'm pretty sure my babies will be okay.

Thanks for listening! ;)

Saturday, July 2, 2011

In: Baby Daze

::It's Friday, Friday, Friday

Thank goodness the weekend is finally here. I SO look forward to having my hubsicle home with the kiddos and I for two straight days. It's crazy how much I miss him during the week, and since it seems as though everything we do is baby-centered, it's nice to be a family on the weekends and do things together...

These past few days, I've been working on trying to get the boys to nap during the day in their rooms in their cribs rather than on the living room couch. Two reasons: 1. Because they are almost to the point where they're gonna roll off the couch, and 2. I need the time that they nap to get all of my crap done. How am I supposed to unload the dishwasher, vacuum, fold laundry, etc with two sleeping babes on the couch?? Fact is that I don't get much of anything done during the day as it is, so it'd be nice for my house to not looks like a *total* disaster when my husband gets home. There's no sleeping going on over here, so I might as well try to catch up with house stuff.

Speaking of never sleeping, when does this get easier?!?! Omg...

All I want is for the boys to sleep a solid 6 hours in between feedings, and since they are almost 5 months old, I don't think that's too much to ask. We're still doing the every 3 hours thing, and it's literally killing us! Ugh! They did start on oatmeal, and I'm finally weaning off of breastfeeding, so hopefully we'll get some relief soon. I just feel so unhealthy, & I know it's cause I never get any rest. Bodies need sleep & rest in order to function, and I'm not getting any of that. Therefore, I can't function... :(

Well, nothing too exciting going on over in my neck of the woods. Happy 4th of July to you all!

Friday, June 24, 2011

In: Baby Daze

::Struggling With Sanity

When I went to my OBs office for my postpartum check up, one of the things she told me was that she's never had a mom of multiples who hasn't had to go on anti-depressants. When she told me this, I was a little taken aback by her forwardness, but I knew that her message was to not feel guilty or ashamed if I began to struggle with feeling overwhelmed by my life as a mom of twins. Fast forward to today... Today was a day where I probably would have benefited from some "happy pills". Everyday is a struggle for me to just keep my head above water. I can only do "just enough" to make sure my nose is right at the edge of the water; just to the point where if the water level rises even a smidge, I'll drowned. Thaw how I feel every single day. Sensory overload; exhaustion to the point of insanity. My eyes burn, my head hurts and my back hurts every second of every day.

Bottom line is that I feel so unhealthy as a whole. I need to try and take some time to get away, even for just a few minutes everyday. The problem is, I always need two people around to tend to these two tiny bugs, and with just two family members in the state, that's not always an option. I'd kill for a pedicure right about now.

I started writing this post yesterday evening at 6pm, and I'm just now wrapping it up the next morning at 7:06am... This is my life now... When will it get a little easier???

Signed,

A Worn Out Mommy

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

In: Baby Daze

::Terrible TWOSday

Tuesday... A day I wish I could have a do-over with!

This particular Tuesday started out productive. I cleaned my bathroom and finally rid it of those annoying pink rings around my sink and toilet (yes, it's been that long) and dusted the dressers that are in my master bedroom. Although it added a lot of character, the inch of dust that sat on the surfaces was really starting to piss me off. Not exactly the decor look I was going for.

I think what I really get most frustrated with is the fact that I can't ever finish anything I start. Laundry, pumping, dishes, washing bottles, vacuuming, dusting, or even taking out the damn trash... Everything I do gets interrupted in one way or another.

Let me back track a little...

Before babies (heck, before pregnancy even) I was a very self-sufficient, independent, and a do-it-myself kind of girl. I didn't need anybody's help and I enjoyed the time that I had to myself. I'm one of those people that actually likes it when it's silent, no one around, no "noise" fogging up my brain, just me and my thoughts. I enjoyed my "alone" time. I suppose everyone enjoys alone time, but for me in particular, those moments were when I did my reflection of the day, week, of myself, etc. They were times when I would "recharge" per say. These days, there's none of the happening around this house. After months of no time to "recharge", I'm running very low on battery life. This mama's tired!

Enough of my venting for one day... I just needed to get it out. Now, it's back to my "sensory overload" life!

Cheers!!! :D

Sunday, June 19, 2011

In: Simply Stated

::Sunday, Simply Stated

Exhausted is how I feel...

Pumping is what I do many times a day...

Bottles and laundry are what never ends...

Pure love is what I feel for my boys...

Amazing is my husband...

Affirmation is what I need more of these days..

Cool is the breeze I feel gently passing over my feet...

Disaster is how to best describe my house...

Clean, unfolded clothes are what has been resting at the foot of my bed for 2.5 weeks...

But the bottom line is that BLISS is what I feel when I see my precious babies smile...

Thursday, June 16, 2011

In: Baby Daze

::Baby, Baby, Baby, Oooohhh!

I never thought at my age that I'd have a Justin Beiber song stuck in my head. I guess that's what happens when everywhere I look and everything I do is totally "baby" centered. My house, once clean, clutter free and totally organized is constantly a complete disaster. I had lots of people tell me that I would be surprised at what a mess and how disorganized everything would be around here once our boys were born, but I had no idea to what extent. Blankets are strung from wall to wall. Tummy time mats consume the majority of carpeted space in my living room. I can't tell you how many times I have tripped over those blasted toys that start singing some sort of annoying tune, and it never fails to wake a sleeping baby that just shut his eyes 5 minutes ago. I swear I hallucinate the tunes that are set on repeat if it's too quite in my house. Funny thing is that I could really care less as I feel like I've reached the top of Mt. Everest at the end of everyday that I am still alive. The whites of my eyes are no longer white. They now sport an attractive shade of blood shot red. There's not enough concealer in an entire Sephora to mask the nasty black puff balls that hang out below my eyes, and since I haven't set foot outdoors for more time than it takes to get from my car to the grocery store, my skin tone is borderline transparent. Lack of sleep does some strange and scary things to the brain. No wonder it's used as a torture device to get people to cough up info they are hiding. It's a darn good thing I'm not being held prisoner for anything, cause I would have cracked after the second week. Ahhhh.... the joys of parenthood! Even though I am a much more frightening version of the girl I once used to look like, the smiles from my boys and the dimples that run so deep make all the not-so-glam parts of my new life fade away... momentarily, at least.

::In The Beginning...

Welcome! Thanks for taking the time to read about my journey as a new mom, and my struggles, triumphs and adventures in raising my identical twin boys. I have always been inspired by reading other people's thoughts on things they are faced with, good or bad, and have gathered that I am not alone in this crazy game of life. Feels good to know that there are others dealing with a similar deck of cards sometimes. This new chapter that I am in right now is all about who I am as a person, as a new mommy of my beautiful baby boys, and my revised role of a wife to my husband. This is meant to be more of a journal rather than a serious place, so sit back, relax and enjoy reading about the chaos that is me!

*My Little Disclaimer*

:Anything posted on this blog is strictly my personal thoughts and opinions on matters

:I am not claiming to be an expert in any area of life

:My opinions are just that, and they do not have to be your opinions if you don't agree with them

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